Homecoming Is As A Bittersweet Chocolate Truffle

We spent six months living in Panama, most of that time on a tiny island off the Caribbean coast where only a footpath leads from one side to the other, and everyone knows each other by first name. There are no big name stores, no buying in bulk and never a crowd. Then we went back to the United States.

Before we left Panama, though, we spent a week in the San Blas islands.  Wichaub Huala, one of the bigger of those islands, had even even fewer amenities than Bocas. One lightbulb lit the path in front of the guest house, and the few toilets were meant for visitors. Those living there simply didn't seem to need them. We felt oddly at home there in spite of the difference.

Then back to Panama City to catch the plane to Atlanta, Georgia where we found soft, thick mattresses, air-conditioning and Lenox Mall.

Yes, Lenox Mall, like Disneyland, only everything sells for cheap.

We went to the mall in search of clothing. Most of ours had been destroyed in Bocas. That’s sort of the nature of living on the water. Sand, salt and rain can do that to your stuff. And while a salt bitten sundress with thinning patches wears perfectly well there, here, in shiny clean Atlanta, it seems hobo-ish.

We parked in the side of the mall near Macy's, wended our way through the men's section to the open expanse by California Pizza Kitchen overlooking the food court with Chik-Fil-A, Nathan’s and Mrs. Field’s When I was in high school, there was a movie theater there too, and to this day, even though I know it’s gone, I somehow forget and find myself standing in front of a wall wondering where to buy tickets. No movies or curly fries today, though. Instead, up the elevator to level three.

We passed by Lindt where a large woman in an apron offered up a silver tray of truffles and greet-the-public smile plastered on her face. We each took one then sat on a bench near Panera Bread Company to eat.

When I say eat, I mean as an event. You take only a small bite, letting the taste cover every surface of your mouth with not-too-sweet, creamy, gorgeous chocolate. I shared my dark chocolate  with Lila, and she traded me for a bit of her white. I hadn’t experienced anything like that in a very long time.

Cacao beans grow all over the Bocas archipelago. One of our last nights there, we splurged and stayed at the La Loma Jungle Lodge. Wooden cabins built on stilts in the middle of Isla Bastiementos. The only way out was a boat in one direction and a good pair of shoes and machete in any other.

But why would we want to go anywhere else when we could pad barefoot around the grounds, an old cacao plantation. The owners cultivate the beans and use them to make cakes and cookies they serve during long luxurious meals in the main lodge house at night. During the day, two local women work behind the main lodge to grind the beans into paste, then dry the paste into a fine rich cocoa powder. Still a very long journey from there to the chocolate we held in our hands on that bench our first day back.

Meanwhile, folks bustled around us going who knows where and moving faster than anyone ever moved on the islands. I’d forgotten about rushing. There was never a need on Bocas. Rush where? The beach, waves and little red frogs found only on those islands would still be there. It would still be hot. It might rain, but it might not. 

Every day, we walked down a sandy path to one of the beaches where we collected shells, sponge and anything else we found washed on shore. Lila ran ahead of me, sometimes lagged behind. She disappeared behind a bunch of palm trees only to materialize again on the other side of a wooden plank passing over a little ravine filled with tiny red fiddler crabs and the occasional large blue. Sometimes Lila scored with a raggedy toy washed up from the water. We brought back our treasures, painted them or with them. Popped the bubbles in the sea weed. Then made dinner and went to bed when we were tired.

Shopping, generally only for supplies, meant a boat into town to one of the stores there. My favorite was Lorelei's super gourmet where sometimes chocolate chips and cans of White Rose chickpeas, the bottom shelf store brand I know from New York. graced the shelves. Those chick peas are even more exotic to Lenox Mall, though.

That’s when Lila took off her shoes and started running down the shiny brown and white marble floor to disappear behind a shifting curtain of people moving into GAP, out of The Icing, stopping at Starbucks for a coffee and into check the latest great deal at BCBG.

I rushed to catch up with her, panicking a bit, and guided her back to our bench where her grimy beach kissed shoes sat untouched. I asked her to put her shoes back on.

She asks me why.

What should I tell her?

Comments

[Kyle Crum]

This is why I admire anyone who can move around the globe with kids. Besides some of the logistical reasons, there are some lessons to teach kids that wouldn't happen at home.

Maybe you could just explain that if truffles are involved, then you should wear shoes :)

Great writing!

[boon]

i get many emails everyday..and yours is one of the few which gets my attention...so good to immerse into your experiences and thoughts and feelings...a real good distraction from my world...miles and miles away from the Bocas lifestyle..

thnx for helping me dream

ps. shoes? who needs em? like Lila i feel more at home without them...the rest of the world will just have to follow suit or get used to us barefoot 'hobos'...truflle or no truffle

[Noah]

It's interesting how culture shock can heighten your experiences. When we left Bocas I was really ready to leave and move back to "civilization". However, when we returned to the US I definitely missed the lifestyle of rolling out of bed onto the beach and going SCUBA diving anytime. The general feeling of being free to explore without a safety net can be exhilarating. Especially when compared to being trapped in a shopping mall. Both experiences have led me to a better understanding of what I need around me in my daily life to be happy, productive and mindful of my surroundings. Thank you, Leigh, for reminding me...

[Leigh]

Lord, Kyle, if truffle eating must involve shoes, that pretty much ruins my entire social life.

Btw, I'm still laughing from the Really? KFC on your page. Cannot get it out of my head.

[Brenna]

My family and I have spent the last 8 months traveling around Europe. I recently went back to Los Angeles for two weeks. I'm used to not knowing what, or how, in a foreign country, but having that feeling at 'home' was strange. I'm back in Europe now with the family, and we'll spend 6 more months in South America before we head back. It's amazing how the kids adjust. Your post got me thinking about what it will be like when we go home to stay.

[Cynthia]

lovely blog, as always
I dont believe it was the lack of shoes but the sense you might loose Lila in the crowd, perhaps that someone might take her, that gave you the disquiet. I always love the feel of her little hand in mine as she holds me tightly- perhaps she feels the same as you do in the crowds.

[Leigh Shulman]

Thank you, Boon, for such a great compliment. As someone who also gets too much e-mail every day, I know there are very few that capture my attention. I'm very flattered to send one that does yours.

As for shoes, I've tried to say, yeah, it doesn't matter if you wear shoes. But unfortunately, sometimes it just does.

Oddly, I was never much for the mall when I lived near them and had easy access. Now that I'm far away, I find it fun to go when we visit.

[Leigh Shulman]

It's funny how I always find it more difficult going home than I do being in a new place. Maybe because we expect to feel difference when we go somewhere we've never been. But home is supposed to feel comfortable.

When and where will you be in South America? Will there perhaps be a chance for us to meet?

[Leigh Shulman]

Thanks, Mom. (And I'm glad you were able to comment)

Of course the crowd makes me more nervous than an open beach. But ultimately, in this case, it really was about the shoes. Lila truly didn't see a need for them.

I also like the feeling of her cute little hand in mine.

[Leigh Shulman]

But for whatever reason, it was really difficult to be productive in Bocas. I wrote a bit there, but didn't really do that much overall.

Beach begets beach, I suppose.

[Claiborne]

Leigh: what a lovely post, and what rich experiences you've had...enjoy the chapters to come.

[Leigh Shulman]

Thanks, Claiborne. And nice one on the "rich" experiences. Just the kind of choc I like!

I'm glad you've been part of it, too. Be that pizza in the park with the kids or when I happened to be in town and came to your Halloween party. Or perhaps you'll make it down our way sometime too.

[CG]

Terrific writing. totally captures being caught between here and there, wherever they may be.

Doesn't La Loma rock? Love that place.

Happy travels

[Meisha Lawson]

Leigh, I heard your story read aloud at TBEX last weekend. Your story of Bocas is amazing! I visited the area two years ago and was so enthralled that I stayed there for my entire Panama trip with the exception of a shot trip to Boquette, which was quickly diverted back to Bocas. Your description of arriving in ATL is exactly how I felt and continue to feel after each trip abroad. I love the way your writing brings the reader into your emotion and experiences. Beautiful story. I can't wait to read more of your work.

[Leigh Shulman]

Thanks, Meisha. I'm so glad you liked it. no better way to compliment a writer, and I look forward to see you back here too. I wish I could have been there for TBEX, but being part of the keynote has made me feel at least a bit that I was there. Esp when I have the chance to meet new people like you.

Sounds like we may have been in Bocas around the same time. We left May 2008. What about you?

[Leigh Shulman]

Thanks, Conner. I felt similarly about your TBEX keynote. You absolutely capture a moment and experience.

Yes, La Loma is quite amazing. We were there right before they had their baby, so we only met Henry.

Beautiful place.

xoL

[Stephanie - The Travel Chica]

The type of question that usually prompts the frustrating, "because I said so." Because there is no other answer.

[Leigh Shulman]

Yep. I think I used the "Please, just do it. I'll explain later" instead.

Like you said, it is frustrating. I hated hearing "because I said so" as a kid. I still hate it.