Picturing My Child Playing in the Dirt

This is one big reason why we left Brooklyn.

I was tired of telling Lila she couldn't play in the dirt. Dogs shit and pee there. I was tired of having to watch her constantly. You never know who is haunting playgrounds and parks. One park in my old neighborhood has a rule that childless men weren't allowed to hang out, even just to sip a grande and read a book.

I was tired of finding fun things to do indoors and having to plan specific trips so Lila could be in the great outdoors. That is, Prospect Park, the Brooklyn Botanic Garden or the American Natural History Museum. Ok, that part was pretty spectacular, but still, an easy, safe place for Lila to play right by our front door feels so much more comfortable.

So when I peeked outside one afternoon -- I still can't help but going to check on her -- I found Lila quietly making mud pies with friends. The taller girl on the left is Victoria. She lives next door and showed up later that night at our house, ended up staying for dinner. The other girl, I don't know.

This in NYC might well label me a bad parent

Comments

[rowena]

As much as I miss Brooklyn and NYC in general... nothing can really compare to saying, "go play" and just opening up the door to the garden, where they can run wild and free as nature intended.

[Alex Fayle]

I think it makes you a great parent! If I'd chosen to be a parent I'd be one of those who most other parents are scandalized by - I'd let my kids get dirty, fall down, explore the world with other friends - but all safely just not overprotected.

Good for you!

[Leigh Shulman]

You know, Alex, it's a constant balance figuring out how much to let go and how much protection we need to provide. Still, I thank you for your compliment.

You bring up another point, that it is, indeed, a choice to have children, a choice I think many don't realize they have.

You've planted a seen for another blog entry for me, and one that I think fits right into the idea of Someday Sydrome (see Alex's website for more info on this) too. Because if you're too busy thinking you should have kids, it would be really easy to miss doing the things you really want.

[Leigh Shulman]

Rowena! Hi!

So great to see you here. I imagine you writing poetry as your kids play outside.

Thanks for your comment!

[Collette]

It's a beautiful pic! Knowing that she is safe & able to be outdoors without having to watch her every second is a very peaceful & comforting feeling.

[Leigh Shulman]

I'll tell you, Collete, it's taken a long time for me to be comfortable letting Lila play without constant watching even when I know she's perfectly safe.

It's hard to remove NYC from the psyche, but I'm getting there.

And thanks for your compliment on the pic! I think Noah took this one.

[Andrea Tannouri]

Hey Leigh!

When I was a kid growing up in really rural Hawaii (Big Island, Kona coffee country) I would play outside for hours and ride my bike for miles. I did move around a lot growing up and decided that when I had a family I would do my best to give my child a stable, secure, never changing home rich with culture and opportunities. Now with a 2.5 year old, having lived in Downtown San Diego and Suburban San Francisco and faced with having to move again, I realize that being able to roadschool would be so much more AWESOME and more eye-opening for her and us!

Thanks again for the intro to @MayaFrost, I have twittered her to see if she would like 2 b interviewed on my Blog Talk Radio Show & talk about Alternative Schooling to promote her book. =D @HolisticMom

[Leigh Shulman]

Hey Andrea,

It's a constant balance. I also moved around a lot growing up and also decided I wanted to give my child a stable, secure, never changing home. I still struggle with that. Much as I think life on the road has been amazing for Lila, I also want her to have a home where long-time friends drop by, family comes for Sunday dinners and where Lila is comfortable.

On the other hand, now, I think (I hope) Lila has homes and friends all over the world. She can go anywhere and feel comfortable, and she has had both her parents with her almost every day of her traveling life.

I revisit the question of one-place vs roadschooling often, and I think as Lila gets older the answer to the question will change (and then change again).

So glad you got in touch with @mayafrost and would love to hear that interview.

[Lilly]

Leigh,

That picture is beautiful. It shows why I too want to leave the big city, it is no place for a family. I was born in the Dominican Republic and remember how I used to play outside all day long. Cars rarely passed down my street and all the neighbors always kept an eye on us while playing outside. I remember only going home to eat and when it was bed time. Then I moved to NYC at the age of 6 and from then on the apartment life was all I ever got to know.

Memories like that make me want to go as far away from the city as possible to settle down and have a family. I don’t want my kids to be cooped up in an apartment, not being able to go outside because it’s too dangerous. They need to have space and the freedom to roam around and play outside. I am grateful for all the experiences the city life has given me, but I feel it restricts you. You are limited to so many things and end up missing out on many great life experiences.

[tomy]

Great picture. Nothing more breathtaking than the images of our kids happy at play as my friend from pennsylvania home security systems would say.

[online loans no credit check]

great pic. It is always difficult to take pictures of the family

[Substituição de Vidro Automovel]

The community plays a great role on the maturity of kids as well as the quality of life the whole family will have. I'm glad you followed your instincts.