thefutureisred

Tread Softly On My Dreams: The Education Crisis Revolution

I'm currently reading a book by Maya Frost titled The New Global Student: Skip the SAT, Save Thousands on Tuition and Get a Truly International Education. In it, she describes the nature of the adolescent mind, how in our teen years our brains open to growth potential that is left largely ignored by the current education system in the United States.

The following paragraph resonated particularly strongly with me on many levels.

Our kid's brains are ravenous for content that will lend itself to analysis, and yet we're sticking them into a world that is so limited they are reduced to examining hairstyles and hook-ups instead of more challenging fare. Instead of analyzing culture, politics or world affairs on a daily basis, they're prognosticating about prom dates. They zero in on the fit of their jeans rather than on the fit of a cultural identity within a larger population,and they devote hours to enhancing the clarity of their skin instead of the clarity of their thinking. They are digging into a plate of pettiness because that is precisely what we've served them. They deserve -- and are ready for -- so much more.

It struck me when I read this that the image of the typical obnoxious teen who lives only to text her friends and meet at the mall is something we take for granted. We assume it is the case, because that is what we see around us. In fact, it is entirely possible we amplify that image because we expect it.

But it is not a given.

Following on that little piece of food for thought, I want to share with you a recent TED talk by Sir Ken Robinson about education. In it he calls for the complete revolution of our international education system, now based on a "fast food module." By that, he refers to the standardization and structuring of most systems of education that overlook the needs of the individual.

It starts with the pressure we feel as parents to make sure our children place well into pre-school and goes from there.

That pressure is one of the reasons I wanted to leave New York City. I couldn't see putting LIla through interviews, essays and evaluation play dates, all for the pleasure of paying $20K for a 2-year-old to go to school. It is too painful.

We take for granted that our model is one we must adhere to because it is what we know, and while that model has served us well in many aspects, we must still continue to evaluate and re-evaluate. It's on us as parents, educators and students to identify that which is no longer working and prune the excess.

The pain we experience while pushing our toddlers into pre-school and again when encouraging them to take AP courses and to ace the SAT is a sign something isn't quite right. Embracing a new system is never easy, though. It is another form of letting go.

Photo by HVX Silverstar

Photo of the Day: These Are the Ants that Ate My Thyme!

This summer, I bought herbs and flowers from the Salta Municipal Market on Calle Urquiza, corner of Itzaingo. Rosemary, basil, locuto peppers, thyme and lavender. The ants ate all but the rosemary and lavender.

Marigolds, I've been told, are the plants you plant around the edges of your garden to repel pests like ants. Those damn ants -- at least four different species -- not only ate them, they dismantled the flowers, petal by petal, leaf by leaf leaving nothing but sticks.

I don't want to use poison in our garden for many reasons, not least of which we have a puppy and a 6 year old running around, playing. But also, I use the plants and leaves for cooking and to prepare herbal preparations for everything from headaches to facial washes to rashes.

Internet research suggested trying lemon, hot pepper powder, salt and hot water. I tried each one separately and together. All I got was a bunch of plants that looks more like a roast than an herb garden.

Autumn arrived and the ants went underground. We stopped seeing them in the house, and my rosemary, lavender and mint -- a present from a friend, thrived. With renewed hope, I bought more thyme.

Then today, I watered the plants. Within minutes, a swarm of ants crawled from the thyme pot, all carrying eggs.

I'm not sure if I'm in awe or if I want to wage war against them. War, though, doesn't seem like much of an option. I'm hopelessly outnumbered.

And if anyone has any non-toxic solutions, please, please let me know.

Does Your Work Limit Your Personal Creativity, Too?

My work with Matador Life is boss. I spend my mornings working with other writers and travelers, talking about writing, travel, relationships. I publish my writing weekly, and I get paid for this, too. It's really a dream job. But what about that pesky fiction I've been meaning to write?

I had moments of inspiration that lead to two short stories. Mama He Says and Welcome to Sapoland. They were both fun to write.

Then the other day, I went for a bike ride down Ruta 28 heading toward Salta. It's a lovely road. Cows, goats and horses happily munch along the edges of expansive brush topped with mustard yellow flowers. Along the way, you can stop to buy fresh unpasteurized milk -- I've been wanting to get some to make cheese -- empanadas and even cabritos and lechones to kill and slap on the asador.

The whole scene inspired me, and I even composed an entire short story, beginning to end with symbolism of branded horses, small piles of garbage and the large armadillo statue at the end of the road. Problem was, it was all in my head and by the time I got home, the story and its inspiration evaporated.

In general, I haven't had much room in my head to write creatively these days. Work, life, blogging, planning my trip to Burning Man and a host of other things that I genuinely enjoy and feel very grateful to have in my life take up a lot of room.

Or maybe that's just an excuse.

They say to be a writer you need only write every day. And I do, just not fiction every day. Sure, I blog and write for Matador every single day. Every single day, I'm engaged with writers and the writing process.

Do I need to make room for ten minutes of fiction writing every single day no matter what?

David Miller, my editor at Matador, recently started a website called Mix Tape Writing. Each week he holds a new contest. Each serves a writing prompt designed to turn your thinking a bit on it's head.

This week's challenge: Called Ambient White Noise.

Do you find writing articles and editing others' writing (or maybe just daily life?) get in the way of your own creative fiction? Or is this just part of the ebb and flow of the writing process?

I'd love to hear what others experience and maybe hear a bit how you work through your own writer's block.

Photo by realSMILEY

Five Steps To Banish Chaos & Get Your Life In Order

 

I wrote this post already. I wrote it on Saturday night, and it was a doozy of a post. One of those great posts that just slips from my fingers to paper like water. It was well written, poignant and said everything I wanted to say in just the way I wanted to say it.

Then when I go to copy and paste the text into Typepad this morning so I can publish it as a blog post, the article disappears. Totally gone. It’s not in previous documents. I didn’t save it online. It’s just gone.

Enter frustration and anger.

I kick myself for not making sure to save it carefully. All the other documents I had open when I wrote it are still there. This one Very Important Post? Not there. Who has time to write the same article twice?

The post I wrote was all about forging order and balance in a world that will never be truly under control, and the irony of such doesn't escape me. 

It all started Saturday night as I was catching up on blog reading. I have a section in my Google Reader called Inspirational Blogs. It’s not that they are the blogs from which I draw my greatest inspiration as such, but more a description of a type of blog genre.

Blogs To Help You Find Yourself In 10 Easy Steps

50 Inspirational Sayings To Help Let Go Of Attachment, Find & Open Your Heart Shakras

How To Break Free From Bad Habits & Learn To Rule the World.

It’s not that I don’t find value in posts such as these. Websites like Leo Barbauta’s Zen Habits and Chris Gillebeau’s The Art of Nonconformity are fabulous.  You’ll always find great information to help you reorganize, order and breath through difficult spots.

What frustrates me about them is they give the impression that the writers of those articles are always under control of everything in their lives. From what I read, I’d believe they exercise every day, meditate, do yoga, finish their work, get the best deals on all flights. Their kids never whine. Their meals, always balanced and their inboxes always empty.

Not me. Not even close.

I have four different mailboxes. Couchsurfing. Google for Matador. One I use for The Future Is Red and then another mailbox I use for e-mail subscriptions. Let's also not forget Facebook and Skype. Each is teeming full.

I remember reading on Tim Ferris’ website how the number one rule of keeping order in your e-mail box is never use it as a file cabinet. All of mine are file cabinets.

Me? I have a to do list a mile long and I probably spend more time than I should searching for things I should have put away where they were supposed to go. Only I wasn’t really sure where they were supposed to go because my to do list has so many variables, each item would go in a place of its own, which doesn’t really organize anything. It only forces me to add Organize Files to my to do list.

Perhaps there are many people who are able to find that serene sense of order that  eludes me. I have simply come to the conclusion that I must accept the chaos and learn to exist with it.

Thus, I have developed My Own Personal Rules of Dealing With Chaos & Imperfection.

1. There will always be more to do. 
2. It will all eventually get done.
3. That which doesn’t get done, probably didn’t need to be done in the first place.
4. If I forget something, it won’t matter too much.
5. If it does matter a lot, I will deal with it.

Today, Noah took Lila to school only to find today she has no school which made having our regular Monday morning meeting over Skype with an education consultant in NY difficult. So we set Lila up in our bedroom with a movie – proving exactly how fantastic Mr Fox can actually be. Then the dog starts barking halfway through. Lila sweetly lets him in the house when she comes into the kitchen to pour herself another bowl of cornflakes.

I put him on my lap in an attempt to calm him down. It doesn’t work. Then our internet gets fuzzy.

Meeting ends early because of all the noise and our internet line goes completely down. The dog, somehow miraculously shits on the floor in the five minutes he was in the house even though he was on my lap most of the time. I revive the internet and go to publish my amazing article written Saturday night only to find it has disappeared.

Bottom line, no matter how much I get under control, I will never be able to get my head around everything. There will always be something that goes beyond my capacity.

But it is not the end of the world, and I am not perfect.

And that is fine with me.

P.S. If I ever do find my first, wonderfully perfect article, I'll be sure to post it here.

Photos by TheAlieness GiselaGiardino and Quinn.Anya

Couchsurfing 101: Ten Foolproof Ways To Receive Stellar References

The past two weeks our house has been full of couchsurfers. There hasn't been a single day with less than two people staying, One day, we had ten people and a hat-destroying dog in the house. 

Did I feel overwhelmed, overworked or the need to run screaming from my deeply invaded personal space?  Quite the opposite. As I looked around our place, teeming with people, I noticed little considerate and respectful habits of our guests that made all the difference between unpleasant and the crazy fun chaos that has characterized the last weeks.

1. Wash Dishes

Aracely and Jason of Two Backpackers spent over a week with us. They washed the dishes and cleaned the kitchen every day. I didn't ask them to do it. They just did. Believe me, this is something every host notices and appreciates more than you can imagine. (And if I haven't said it before, thank you both!)

2. Clean Up After Yourself

This is a no brainer. . Don't leave your dirty dishes on the table, toothpaste on the counter or puddles of water on the floor. No one is perfect, and of course, you might forget or leave a mess. But one little thing won't matter if your general habit is to leave things neat and clean.

3. Let Them Know If Something Breaks

If you break something, immediately let your host know and offer to replace it. If for some reason you can't afford to replace it, still, be honest. I don't love it when things are broken, but it happens. I actively dislike it when people hide what happened, leaving me with a surprise.

If you break something in my house and don't take responsibility for it, believe me I'll mention it when I leave a reference.

4. Organize Your Sleeping Area Immediately After Waking Up 

This isn't a deal breaker, but it's a good habit to adopt, especially if your sleep area is in the middle of the living area. 

We had ten people in the house. Craig and Linda Martin of Indie Travel Podcast slept on the living room couch and their friend Angela on a blow up mattress on the floor. They rearranged the couches, put away the bedding and put the blow up aside, leaving us all more room to eat breakfast and hang out in the morning.

We also have a guest bedroom, and I tend not to go in at all when people are staying, so I don't care if it's a complete wreck. But when you leave, refer to rule number two.

5. Pitch In For Meals

You shouldn't expect your hosts to prepare food or pay to feed you.

I like to have lunch or dinner ready when Couchsurfers arrive, and I most definitely don't expect them to pay me back for that. But two meals, three, four? Couchsurfing is meant to be a cultural and personal exchange. Not a bed and breakfast.

Most of our recent surfers brought food along with them or we showed them to the nearest supermarket. Generally, we all shared what we had. This worked for us with this particular group, but you don't need to feel that you have to share meals or food with your host.

If you all plan to make and share a big meal together, though, split the costs and preparation.

6. Make A Meal

Also, not something required of you by any stretch, but when you cook for someone, believe me, they'll remember you. Ariella -- our first surfer ever -- made an amazing lasagne for us in Panama. Audrey and Dan of Uncornered Market made this incredible chicken with paprika, chicken and herbed cheese they learned in Prague from an Estonian living in Copenhagen who got the recipe in Italy. You can find the recipe in their Christmas Cookbook. Sally made Yorkshire pudding pizza.

Noah and I take on breakfast. He makes amazing omelets. Scratch pancakes and home fries are my domain.

Just saying. It makes an impression.

7. Let Your Host Know What You Want & Need

Don't go with the flow because you think you have to do what your hosts suggest just because you're staying in their house.

Ask for a towel, a map, the nearest supermarket and where to find the bus. If your host can't help you, so be it, but a good host shouldn't expect you to curtain your trip to their needs.

Believe me, I much prefer that Janine and Angela said no to going to yoga class with me in lieu of taking a walk around the central square of Salta.  Or that Danny and Jillian of I Should Log Off admitted they'd rather stay in Saturday night than go to a Couchsurfing event. (Turned out, we were also happy to stay in and drink a couple bottles of wine.)

That way I know when you spend time with me, it's what you want. I have no desire to play tour guide to the unwilling.

8. Play With the Kids 

Almost everyone who comes over spends time drawing or playing games with Lila. I'm not saying you need to be a babysitter, but you do need to acknowledge that children are also your hosts. When you spend a bit of time with them, you're bringing them into the Couchsurfing community and making it easier for their parents.

Lila loves having Couchsurfers because she meets new people too. There's a new audience for her she-makes-the-rules-you-always-lose games.

That, and being a host takes extra time and energy no matter how much you love it. When you help with the kids (or pets), you're giving your host more time and room for themselves.

9. Treat Their Home As Your Home

Ask where things go and put them away as you use them. Get to know your hosts routine and work with them as you figure out your own plans.

I tell all the people who stay with us to make themselves at home. They're welcome to take what they need from the kitchen. I show them where we keep the extra towels and sheets.

One wonderful moment on our busiest Couchsurfing day. I woke in the morning and walked into the kitchen only to be offered a cup of fresh coffee by Janine. That is a lovely, lovely thing.

10. Work With Your Host's Schedule & Routine

Check in with your hosts to see what they need, where they need to go. If your host has to leave early in the morning for work, does that mean you have to be out as well?  I don't find that to be necessary. I'm always happy to have people in the house, but I also appreciate when you give me space to work if I have a deadline.

Remember to communicate your own needs to them as well. If your host doesn't know you want to be at the train station by early the next day, they can't help you get there.

Mostly, Just Relax Be Yourself

I base my decision whether or not you can stay almost entirely on your Couchsurfing profile. That means, I'm already interested in getting to know more about you before you walk in the door. If you want to know what I look for in a profile, check out How To Pimp Your Couchsurfing Profile & Find A Place To Stay.

Overall, I like to assume people are considerate adults who can be trusted to respect boundaries and my home. With that assumption, I feel free to tell you to feel comfortable and at home. If you need some milk from the fridge. Take it. If you want a late night tea and a snack and I've already gone to bed, fine. 

What I've also found is that long time travelers seem to understand these rules almost instinctively. After all, it's not all that different from learning how to be respectful of new cultures and countries while not going beyond your own boundaries of personal comfort.

Learn how to do that, and you'll always find good references on your profile.

Got Any Other Questions About Couchsurfing? Just Ask!

Send me an e-mail or leave a comment below with any questions you have about Couchsurfing.

I'm still working on a post on How To Evaluate A Profile, particularly for big cities. This one is a bit tricky, because there are so many variables, but a post is coming soon.

Photos by The Red Project, Miss Rogue and Zieak

What Exactly Is Traditional American Food?

I've been asked by Lila's teacher at school to bring in a recipe of something that is traditional American cuisine. What dish best represents American food?

And what does traditional American cooking even mean?

My first thought was lasagna which really is Italian. Then Magic Bars aka Hello Dollys aka Seven Layer bars. Texas or Kansas barbecue seems a bit cumbersome to send in to make at school. And things like baked beans just seem a bit of a bad idea in general. Tater tots would be great for kids, but those aren't something you make as much as buy in the bag and heat up quickly. Right?

What about meatloaf? I can't even imagine how ground meat put in loaf form with onions and tomato paste would be greeted here in Argentina, home of the hearty asado with lomo, matambre and other whole cuts of cow and pig. 

So what else? What recipe should I send to Lila's school to adequately represent American food?

Photo by The Marmot

Mother's Day Music Mix: What Makes A Mom?

The roots of Mother's Day run deep and wide. They day is celebrated differently on different days for different reasons worldwide, but all have in common a connection to some birthing body. It could be Mother Earth, Mother Mary and the day of the Immaculate Conception. It could be in protest to a war and the mothers who lose their children.

And every reason for Mother's Day reflects tenfold the complicated relationships we have with our own mothers and children.

Maybe you lie about what you've been up to in order to keep her from worrying or asking questions. Or maybe you're honest with her. I'm a bit of both; the older I get the less I need prevarication. It ain't easy having a kid who lives like a gypsy, so all you traveling folk, call your Mama Kin.

Mama's Got A Girlfriend to all the mamas whose papas aren't around or those who never wanted one in the first place. 

Moms are blamed for everything. Sometimes it's their fault. You made me cry; you told me lies. You could have been a better friend to me, but Mama I'm Coming Home. 

Bob Dylan's lyrics always hit home whether sung by Jeff Buckley, Jack Johnson or the original Mama, You've Been On My Mind.  "I'd just be curious to know if you can see yourself as clear as someone who has you on his mind." Because I'm not sure we ever see our mother's the way they see themselves. Or the way they are.

There's Danzig's Mother.

And what I think of as the Rolling Stone's homage to American stay-at-home mom's of the 60s. I won't speak for moms today, but I'd like to think things have changed. Although I know from experience how  difficult it can be to stay at home with your kid no matter how much you also love it. Then I also know from experience the difficulty often involved in making the choice to work. Often, it's other mothers who criticize each other the most for choices made in this arena.

And finally, Rosanne Cash's Motherless Children captures exactly what a mother means when she sings of life without your mom.  Your father will do his best. Your husband will try to understand. Auntie will do. Sister will be there until she gets married, then she goes to her own life.

No matter who your mother is. She can be the perfect hot chocolate when its cold mom or she can miss your birthday or maybe your mother is an abusive alcoholic. Mom will always be in your life in some way, even when she is absent.

Moms aren't perfect and never will be.

Something that becomes all too painfully clear when you become a mother yourself.

What mama song sings most loudly to you?

Happy Mother's Day, Mom and all you other mothers out there!

And for those who want to hear more of my budding DJ doings, become a listener of the futureisred on blip.fm

Photo of the Day: Lila Beside Cezanne's Mountain

Lila stands for a moment to think at the foot of Mont Sainte Victoire, Cezanne's mountain in Provence.

We couchsurfed with Maryanick and her wonderful family for two weeks near the town of Trets and walked through these mountains, vineyards and zucchini fields. The largest well known city, Aix en Provence, lies approximately a 45 minute drive away. For Sainte Marie de la Mer, my favorite city in the south of France, continue another hour past that.

Everywhere you go in the south of France actually appears as an impressionist painting. Is that because I'm accustomed to Van Gogh's swirling skies above Arles and Cezzane's blocky rocks or, perhaps, their impressions are actually far more representational than I ever realized.

The beauty of couchsurfing allowed us to really spend time here as if we actually lived in the area. We woke every morning to roosters crowing, shared meals with Maryanick and her family and met her friends, saw favorite parts of town.

I entered this photo as part of today's Delicious Baby Photo Friday.

How-To Blog When PR & Marketing Just Aren't Your Bag

Call it a taste of sour grapes, call it what you want, but the state of blogging frustrates me. Then again, maybe I simply need to figure out the real reasons why I blog.

This past week, we had three sets of travel bloggers staying with us. Dan & Audrey from Uncornered Market, Jason & Aracely from Two Backpackers and Craig & Linda Martin from Indie Travel Podcast. So of course, the topic of blogging, the travel blog community and the ins-and-outs of running a successful blog dominated at least some of the conversation.

My opinion? I'm frustrated. Too often it seems that content takes second seat to marketing and public relations. A recent article on Problogger titled Poor Bloggers Focus Too Much On Blog Posts highlights this further saying content should generally be only about one-third of your focus if you choose to actually support yourself with blogging.

As a writer, I find this depressing. 

Beyond that, I may not support myself through my blog, but I most certainly do not consider myself "poor" in quality or in what I get in return from this blog.

Is it really more about how many Twitter followers you have, the reach of your StumbleUpon subscribers and the number of your RSS feed?

If so, often the things required of you to up your numbers appear disingenuous. Say you're a dedicated travel blogger, someone who writes at least one post a week and reads other travel blogs to stay abreast of what's being said and done out there in the world of travel blogging.

Now ask that travel blogger how many posts they read where they know a majority of the other commenters because, not a surprise, they're also travel bloggers. I've written about this before when I asked the question if maybe, just perhaps, travel blogging has jumped the shark.

What are the reasons you blog?

As with so many things in life, it all comes down to expectation. Why do you blog? There are so many possible reasons.

To support yourself and your travels.

To be part of a community.

To be read.

To publicize work you do outside of (travel) blogging.

To present your opinions and ideas.

To meet other travelers.

I don't think any one way is de facto better or worse than another if you are clear about what and why you're doing it. But each way of blogging brings with it certain realities and consequences.

If you blog to support yourself, you must also market and publicize yourself. For many of us, that means doing things that we'd perhaps rather not do. If you blog simply to meet other people and choose to forgo the marketing and commenting inherent to that, you accept that it's unlikely you'll have as much traffic as a well publicized site no matter how stellar your content.

Why Do I Blog?

Three main reasons.

The first: To connect with other bloggers, travelers.

Right now, we have seven people staying with us, four of whom blog. Last week, Uncornered Market was here too. It is unlikely I would have met any of these people without my blog and time spent on Twitter. That would be a shame.

We have a lot in common. We travel. We blog. We enjoy long dinners with wine and as travelers tend to have a similar laid back outlook on life.

Another thing? Travelers tend to be fantastic guests. They're mellow, respectful, help out and always offer to replace whatever it is they use.

The second reason: I'm a writer, and I want people to read my writing.

I admit, I don't spend enough time on Feedburner or any of the other statistics counters -- another must-do if you want to do this professionally -- to know how many people read my blog. If it's 100 people who regularly read my writing, then I am happy.

The third: To connect with people outside my daily life.

Every week, I receive e-mails from readers letting me know what's going on in their lives. . You are the people who choose to spend your time reading what I have to say for no other reason than you want to. It is humbling.

I often have to remind myself of these reasons.

Sometimes, I forget myself and begin to wonder why I don't find myself appearing on lists of popular bloggers. Or why some weeks I don't have as many hits as others. Too often, I feel pressure to comment more, market and publicize.

It stresses me out because I have other projects, a family, things I enjoy doing in my real life, and I really don't know where I can find the time to do these things I ultimately don't want to do.

Marketing and PR are not my forte. Of course, I could decide that I do want to support myself blogging and learn the trade anyway. But I decided to go a different direction. I blog for my reasons. It works for me. For now.

After all is said and done, what are your reasons for blogging?

Photos by meddygarnet & antigone78.