We packed the car to stuffed and drove out of Brooklyn. Over the Verrazano into New Jersey and on on on. We went through Hershey, Graceland, Rome, Paris and Amsterdam. Panama City, Lima, Miami, Buffalo and Buenos Aires. And except for a brief and terrible moment in Harrisonburg, VA, where Noah and I got into a screaming fight and almost called everything -- the trip, the marriage, the whole thing -- quits, we never looked back.
Well, of course I looked back. I thought about friends, places, memories, but I never felt sad.
The past two months I´ve been horribly homesick. Which home? I´m not even sure. I just miss...well...I miss.
- I miss our IKEA MALM bed in Brooklyn and the way the maroon curtains tinted the room with their color.
- I miss Monteleone´s bakery. Amazing cheesecake and canoli. Truly the best you´ll ever have.
- I´m sad that my Lexington Coop bag got ruined when I washed it.
- I miss lazy days sitting with our newborns at Naidre´s (used to be Cammareri Brothers Bakery of Moonstruck fame)
- I miss Chinese food. Lord knows why. I never eat it when I can get it. But the fact that I can´t find any places here that are in anyway similar to the Chinese food I want, suddenly, I need it.
- I miss Sunday afternoons with the whole fam damily in Atlanta.
- I miss knowing where to get a good haircut and where to find shoes that aren´t gladiator sandals.
- I miss peanut butter and maple syrup. (PLEASE IF YOU VISIT BRING SOME)
Most of the things I miss are silly. Usually food. Usually foods I don´t eat. It´s random what will strike a chord and suddenly this deep longing develops somewhere between my stomach and my heart.
Would I go back? I suppose it´s possible for us to leave here and return to any of the places we´ve lived. Top choices being Brookyn, Buffalo (clearly I´m eating my words on this one) and Atlanta.
But we´re here now, and much as I miss, I don´t want to go back. I want, well, I´m not entirely sure what I want. It´s hard to believe whatever void in me can be filled with peanut butter and sweet and sour chicken with tangy neon sauce and bits of pineapple.
What is it I want? And why did this start now? I don´t know.
Anyone else care to take a guess?